Valentine’s Day is a great time to add some fun to love. No matter if you’re single or with someone, these Valentines puns and jokes will make you laugh. Enjoy silly one-liners, clever wordplay, and funny jokes that make love even more enjoyable.
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Valentines Puns
You’re the butter to my bread.
I’m nacho average Valentine.
We’re a perfect pear.
You make my heart skip a beet.
I’m stuck on you like glue.
You’re purr–fect for me.
I’m soy into latte.
You make me feel grape.
I love you a honey.
You’re my sweet–tea.
We go together like peas and carrots.
I’m totally bananas for jam.
You make my heart pop.
You’re the cherry on top of my life.
I’m cereal–sly in love with you.
You’re my bun.
You make life sweet.
I’m donut without valentine.
You’re my souper heart.
I’m hooked on eye.
You’re my sun–shine.
I’m eggs-tremely fond of pea.
You make my heart melt.
You’re the apple of my kitten.
I’m nuts about you.
You’re my sweet–berry.
I’m wine-ding up in love with special.
You make me feel berry grapeful.
I’m grape-ful for purr.
You’re my heart-throb.
You’re tea–riffic!
I’m choco-latte for you.
You’re my honey–bun.
I’m smitten like a sunshine.
You’re my sweet-heartbeat.
Valentines Puns One-Liners
You’re the spark in my heart.
I’m sweet on you more than chocolate.
You make my heart flip like pancakes.
We’re a perfect match.
You’re my cupcake in a world of muffins.
I’m totally nuts for you.
You make my life berry special.
I’m stuck on you like honey on toast.
You’re my sunshine on a cloudy day.
I’m cereal-sly in love with you.
You make me feel grape every day.
I’m donut without you.
You’re the cherry on my heart.
I’m hooked on your smile.
You make my heart pop like popcorn.
You’re my jam, always.
I’m egg-cited to be with you.
You’re the apple of my life.
I’m wine-ing about nothing because of you.
You make me melt like ice cream.
You’re my pea in a pod of happiness.
I’m purr-fectly in love with you.
You’re my sweetie and my treat.
I’m bananas for your love.
You make my heart soar like a kite.
You’re my honey-bun, always.
I’m toast without you.
You make life better in every way.
You’re my heart-throb, truly.
I’m berry glad I found you.
You make me feel latte love.
You’re my souper Valentine.
I’m smitten every single day.
You’re my sweet-pea forever.
I’m choco-late without you.
You make my heart sing like a song.
Funny Valentines Puns
You’re the cheese to my macaroni.
I’m nacho average Valentine.
We’re a perfect pair.
You make my heart skip a beat.
I’m stuck on you like glue.
You’re purr-fect for me.
I’m soy into you.
You make life grape.
I love you a latte.
You’re my sweet–tea.
We go together like peas and carrots.
I’m totally bananas for you.
You make my heart pop.
You’re the cherry on top of my day.
I’m cereal–sly in love with you.
You’re my jam.
You make life butter.
I’m donut without you.
You’re my souper Valentine.
I’m hooked on your smile.
You’re my sunshine.
I’m eggs-tremely fond of you.
You make my heart melt.
You’re the apple of my eye.
I’m nuts about you.
You’re my sweet–pea.
I’m wine-ding up in love with you.
You make me feel berry special.
I’m grape-ful for you.
You’re my heart-throb.
You’re tea-riffic!
I’m choco–late for you.
You’re my honey-bun.
I’m smitten like a kitten.
You’re my sweet–heartbeat.
You make every day sweeter.
Valentines Jokes
Why did the Valentine card go to school?
To find a little class!
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts.
What did the stamp say to the envelope?
I’m stuck on you.
Why did the banana give a Valentine?
Because it found a peel-ing heart.
Why did the Valentine cookie go to therapy?
It felt crumby.
What did the calculator say to the pencil?
You can count on me.
Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day?
Because they’re scent-imental.
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
How did the phone propose on Valentine’s Day?
With a ring!
Why did the owl give a Valentine?
Because it was a hoot.
What do you call a very small Valentine?
A mini heart.
Why did the bee give a Valentine?
Because it was buzzing with love.
Why did the pencil give a Valentine?
It found the perfect point.
Why did the Valentine go to jail?
For stealing hearts.
How do you know when a potato likes you?
It gets all hot and steamy.
Why did the spider give a Valentine?
Because it was caught in love.
What did one flame say to the other?
You light up my life.
Why did the heart go to school?
To get a little class.
What do squirrels give on Valentine’s Day?
Their nutty love.
Why did the Valentine fail music class?
It didn’t know the right notes.
What did the owl say on Valentine’s Day?
Owl always love you.
How do cows say “I love you”?
Moo-ch!
What did the magnet say to the fridge?
You’re so cool.
Why did the Valentine paper feel nervous?
It had butterflies.
What did one bee say to the other?
You’re the bee’s knees.
Why did the chocolate break up?
Because it found someone sweet-er.
What did one rose say to the other?
I’m thorn for you.
Why did the cupcake give a Valentine?
Because it was icing on love.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
Short Valentines Jokes
Why did the Valentine cross the road?
To get to your heart.
What do you call a romantic vegetable?
A love-cabbage.
Why did the boy give his heart to a clock?
Because it was timeless love.
What did the cat say on Valentine’s Day?
You’re purr-fect!
Why did the Valentine cookie go to school?
It wanted to be smart cookie.
How do you fix a broken heart?
With lots of hugs.
What do flowers say to their Valentine?
I’m blooming for you.
Why did the heart go to the doctor?
It felt a little faint.
Why did the Valentine card blush?
It saw the love note.
How did the pencil say I love you?
You’ve got a point.
What did one flame say to another?
You light me up.
Why do bees love Valentine’s Day?
They’re buzzing with love.
What did the chocolate say to its Valentine?
You’re sweet!
Why did the owl give a Valentine?
Because it was a hoot.
How do cows show love?
Moo you forever!
Why did the cupcake give a Valentine?
Because it was icing on love.
What did one magnet say to the other?
You’re attractive.
Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing!
How did the phone propose?
With a ring!
Why did the skeleton break up?
It didn’t have the heart.
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts.
Why did the Valentine paper feel nervous?
It had butterflies.
How do squirrels say “I love you”?
Nuts about you.
Why did the chocolate break up?
It found someone sweeter.
What did one rose say to the other?
I’m thorn for you.
Why did the coffee break up with tea?
It found espresso love.
What did the calculator say to the pencil?
You can count on me.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day?
They’re scent-imental.
What did the owl say on Valentine’s Day?
Owl always love you.
Why did the heart go to school?
To get class.
How did the potato say I love you?
Hot and steamy.
Why did the spider give a Valentine?
It was caught in love.
Why did the pencil give a Valentine?
It found the right point.
How do you know a Valentine likes you?
They make you smile.
